Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Self Expression

Thursday, January 15, 2015


Self expression is very important. It allows us to channel our inner feelings to people we want to heard upon. There are those people who express themselves physically like crying or laughing.

I also know people who express themselves through painting or drawing.

Some people express  through Singing and dancing.


And I express myself through writing.


No matter the medium. I personally believe that we have the right to express ourselves. Sometimes we woke up and realize that the world in front of us is nothing but a masquerade. No matter how we flash some bright lights ahead of us we still can't see the signs.

It's very important to look at ourselves and stand on our feet and stand our ground. Be you. DO YOU!

Fakers Gonna Fake, Haters Gonna Hate

Friday, October 11, 2013

There was this girl I thought I knew so well, I didn't just consider her as a sister coz for me, she is my sister from another mother. She was this someone I could tell anything, all those crazy things in my head. If I had problems about boys and all my toys she was the person to go to. No matter what time of day it is I know that home is where she's at. I've known her all my life.. Well I thought I knew her so well.

Last Saturday, I asked her why she disinvited me to one of our childhood friend's birthday bash that she organized. Turned out, She intentionally disinvited me coz someone I don't talk to was there. WTF is that. So I text her that I was disappointed with what she did and posted on her facebook wall.

Well, common reaction by offenders, they turn things around made it about me and my big attitude. It was way too far out of topic, but then it all made sense to me.

Her friends never really had problems with me. It was her, she just can't handle me. I'm too much fun for her boring monochromatic life. She used to be everything, now she's just plain boring.

She told me that facebook is my only friend left. Just wanna let her know that its quiet true, but she should know too that my friends no longer lives in the Philippines and that I am the only one left here in the country. I just hope that next time before she run your mouth and talk, she should know the facts. She's a professional as what SHE claimed to be. Professionals don't jump into conclusions.

Yes I am immature and I could be really annoying but that's only to the people I am really comfortable with. Guess I had it all mixed up and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I got really comfortable with her. She had me thinking that with her I could be nobody but me. Believe me when I say that SHE'S  really good at it. I never saw it coming. I was WRONG, REALLY WRONG.

SHE stand so tall like she had won some kind of war but really I have never seen someone fall so short. Maybe SHE should just try harder. SHE asked me what is wrong with me. SHE know me too well that what ever happens to me, I'm gonna post it on my friend facebook. Please don't make this all about me. This is about HER. I hope that before goes out of the house, she read again all the text that she sent to me and see the person that she is becoming coz you know what, SHE could be worst than me. Cherios!!!

#Wordplay

Monday, August 26, 2013



I really shouldn't be doing this. I could care less what people think about me. Some of the people I love asked me to do this. Now I care.

Yes, I start fights, I talk so loud. I am a very bad influence to the youth. Despite all that they still follow me. I didn't ask you to do it. Given the chance, I would like to ask you to BLOCK, DELETE and UNLIKE me. There is more to me that meets the eye. It's not my fault you can't see right through. Because in this page I'm the QUEEN, I'm  the Boss, I'm a monster and I'm  a savage beast!

It makes me laugh looking at people trying to do what I do. Funny how they try so hard to be me, they forget how to be nobody but their selves. They can't even handle their liquor. How's that for being a party girl. It makes me put up my middle finger to them. They deserve that.

I can't keep my mouth shut. I tried to blend in before, to be normal but I just turned out to be a MISFIT. I kicked out of school. Somehow I get out of it. For all the things that I have done wrong in my life. I must have done something right. Seeing this people smiling back it me everytime I do something crazy. They know me. I love them for that!

Nobody can tell me how I'm gonna be! (unless you're my mom) I love you mom!

Nonette

Wednesday, August 14, 2013


People are asking me a lot of questions lately and I try my best to answer all of them. This one deserves to be posted here on my blog and not just an email reply. Someone asked me if I had someone I look up to and who would that be. So I said "MY PARENTS" but it's a given right? We all look up to our parents. I had to give another answer. Without any thought I said, IT'S JOSE NONETTE MEDRANO JR. People call him NETCH, Nonet(noney) but for me he is just JR.

I remember like it was yesterday, when we first met (murag manag uyab lang). It was also my first day of school as I happened to pass him by coz he was hangin out with his friends outside their classroom. He said HI and I said HI Betch. (I just made that up). Well one thing leads to another and we've been friends ever since. I also remember that he used to be CHRISTINA AGUILERA and I'm BRITNEY SPEARS (coz I'm that b*tch).

I always look up to him. He is my Gay ICON, my HERO, and my MENTOR. Everytime I had guy troubles I always think of "WHAT WOULD JR DO if he is in this situation. Every time we hang out he always have this million ways to make everybody laugh and be comfortable.

YES JR I LOOK UP TO YOU!

My Secret Weapon

Thursday, August 08, 2013

Full House-TANAN MASAKITON OG OTOK

Let me present to you the HOUSE OF BROKOVICH. We could be the most difficult people you will ever know but to us, we are the most easy people to be with. It's on since we were high school. Until now we still think that we are in high school but maybe a little sober and so in control. Mess with one be prepared for the other three.


Empire in My State of Mind

Friday, July 12, 2013

In my mind, I want to create a world where everyone could come together and be nothing but themselves. I am trying my hardest to have that . The idea is quite delusional . May seem so impossible. Only if you don't believe.

My words may always hurt you. My haters have lined up the longest line. They could just sit and stare coz it will take a while for me to notice them. F*ck the Haters. I just wanna have fun. F*ck y'all.

In this big crazy world, I am very happy that I met people that are true. I could never thank them enough for loving me for me esp. all the crazy in me. I am happy. Very happy. I know they'll be there at the end of the day. Thank you! You guys are my empire and I am the QUEEN. AMEN

All Smile

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Just shake off every problems you had and lead a happy life. At some point you have to let go of people in your life. No matter how hard you try, some people doesn't wanna be in your life. You just have to be happy and contented with what you have in your plate.


Speak

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Lonely OLD FAG

I wish people would just learn how to say no instead of avoiding giving an answer. I can deal with disappointment, I can't deal with bullshit.

People of my Year 2012

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

As the year is about to end, I think its about time I came up with the list of people who mattered to me this 2012.



10. The Boys of Ting Ting Official ft Leo Simpleniceguy- Vince Dale, Jason Pangan, Kalvin, Reane, Madix, Nico, Sergz, Niljun and J. I also call them my Boyfriend Collection. You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for the laughs, and the times we have shared. I really appreciate it. I know that you guys had a lot of games in your mind, just remember not to get caught up with your feelings coz that's when things get ugly.

The K-Girls- Regine Lepon, Agnes Oliamot, Christina Cassandra Velez- Thank you girls for riding with me in this Joyride we call life.You guys are one of the people who could keep up with all the crazy in me. When I do something out of this world, I know that you guys would come closer and jump right in. Always ready to have fun. Thank you for that.


I Don't Do Drugs

Saturday, December 22, 2012

J
Nico
Eane
Sergz
Me

So I invited my friends on a late night dinner in a pub. Nothin felt as good when you are with the people you care about and people you are comfortable with. I really had fun with them until a joke was thrown at me like a meteorite.

I just found it off and out of line. I know that he never meant what he said but it got me like a knife stabbing right through my heart. It brings all the pain from the past and laid it all in front of me like all the items on sale.  All my life I had been running away from this demon but it keeps on chasing me. 

I think its about time I talk about it. Maybe by talking about it would ease up  the pain I had been hiding since I was 9. My brother was/is a drug addict. Though he seems to be sober now coz he just got out of rehab. Because of it, I blamed him for all the things that happened within our family. I blamed him because I never get to have the things they had when they were about my age. I blamed him because I felt like I was robbed off my childhood and forced to be an adult. At some point I never understand the situation. I had a very wild high school life. I was doing all the bad things just to get my parents attention. I almost got expelled. Sometimes I asked myself questions to the things that happened but I felt like the answers were not for me. I still don't know. 

I think that this is the reason why I get easily attached to people who gives me the attention and I always end up being hurt when the attention runs out. Believe me. The pain is real!


So yeah! I just wanna put it out there. I hangout with people who do drugs because they give me the attention that I want and not some other things. I DON'T DO DRUGS. I NEVER WAS. I NEVER WILL.
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Darayonan: A Place Like Home

Monday, December 10, 2012

The Doorway

The Lobby

Our Backyard.. 

Our Backyard by night. 

Darayonan lived up its promise to make you feel like you are right at home while you are checked in. With the occasional interruption of electricity as an added bonus to its homey kind of feel. I really like the laid back kind of feeling that place radiates. 


Stay at Darayonan and be treated like the way your mom treats you. TENDER LOVIN CARE!!!



photo credits: Atty. Rey Caayon

AMEN

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I don't know where to start things but let me tell you that I am one fucked up person you'll ever come to know. I am pointless and immature. I am very difficult to deal with and so hard to please.

I have decided that I'm going back to the old me. Trust no one. Rely on no one. Take crap from no one. The only person that will truly always have your back, is YOU. Shut everyone out of my life.

I used to be not affected to the things that comes in to my life. No feelings involve. Now I just pretend not to care but deep inside I loud voice is screaming for attention.

Hopefully I could have my old self back coz I am so done with all the whining!!!

Over and Over Again

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Ahem, there was this girl that I know who really like one of my closest friend. This girl was cute alright, but the guy never see her worth. She did everything she could just to get that chance to be with this guy. Hangout  with the guys in the park, be one of the boys, chill with them at a common friends house. She even made up stories just for him to stay but it only pushed him away. I thought that she would just let him be but she was persistent. I thought it was pathetic. I thought it was very cheap and very degrading.


Til today, when I had dinner with my betch sister.I told her about this girl and all the things she did. My sister told me that I had no right to laugh at this girl. Considering the things that I've done with this guy. Hhmmmm. I don't know what to say anymore.

My sister was right. I was that girl or even worst. I am into this mean and vicious cycle that keeps on repeating. She asked me when will it stop and I don't even know the answer.

Meet a guy. Get to know him. Fall in love. Fall even harder. Get crazy. Then things get really ugly, went into a mini melt down and finally move on. This is the cycle that I am on. Pathetic as it seem but I can't help it. Its a part of being me.

This is All Your Fault Ofel

Thursday, October 25, 2012


Since its Monsoon Season here in the Philippines which means that it rains more than the usual. Not to mention the fact that there's a typhoon called Ofel currently hitting hard on the roof. I am so bored here at home.

I found this post on http://aussiespacetimetraveller.com and decided to make something on my own.

What time did you go to bed last night and were you alone?
-7am and I was alone

If you could be given ANY gift what would it be?
-I am currently obsessed with this things(click here)

What were you doing before you started this?
-Talking to someone on the phone

What did you want to be when you were little and do you think you ever will be?
-Priest... Now roll your eyes.

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be and who would it be with?
-in Bora Bora, with the Dougg

Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
-Back in High School our Math Teacher

Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
-Yes, their eyes.

A fly just flew into your mouth, Spit or swallow? 
-Spit- I don't swallow ;-)

Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
-Boyfriend


Hell Yeah I am bored.. I am boring.. and so are you, for spending time here.

If you want to ask me anything random. leave a comment below!

I am Awesome because I am Gay

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I am awesome because I am gay. I can do things that other people can't. I can relate to both sex easily. Being gay made me do more than any people.

As a person, I made it a mission to break every person's gay stereotype. I hope that, slowly but surely I can be a good example to every one that there's more to me than just being gay. That I am a person with so much worth and value.

I am really inspired by Divine Lee for all her causes in fighting against gay discrimination.She is a true modern day warrior. I wanna thank her for her contribution in the LGBT community. She paved the way in showing people that you can be gay and still be awesome.

while you are at it don't forget to like my facebook page, follow me on Twitter, and Instagram

My Thoughts on Rumors and Gossip

Monday, October 08, 2012

Just recently a lot of rumors had been spreading in my circle about something. I am not writing this post to clarify things coz nothing that I will say will change your mind. Seems to me that you know me better than I do.

In my 20 years of existence I've come around issues like this. I've come to know that people will judge you negatively and will talk about you no matter you do bad or good. If you are really concerned about me come talk to me, not talk about me, otherwise I'll be thinking that you are using me as your entertainment. Well I'm glad to be just that to you. I hope you felt better in your unhappy life.

I am so done with this, I've dealt with people who wants to bring me down but can't you see that I am still holding my ground. People like that are jealous and insecure. I must be something for you to feel that way.

I just wanna let people know that you just heard ONE SIDE OF THAT STORY. If you have heard the other, which is my side, then you can judge me.

People have an inclination to love, like, and believe those who are sweet, good-looking people but I don't have that. I have a rough, tough and I may speak in a tone higher than everyone but I don't use it to harass people, and with that I am often judged negatively. I always get that.

Come to think of it, It would be amazing and I'd be having a lot of fun if I actually did every single thing that people accused me of. Just snap your fingers and say "I need a life." before I do it. Hahahaha

A wise man once said to believe what you see, and none of what you hear. But in this town people believe in things that they've heard, and make up stories about what they didn't see.

They say people who gossip with you will gossip about you to other people. This is not entirely true because my friends wont do this to me. Maybe your friends was never true to you right from the start.

People claimed to lead a busy life but they always take the time out of their schedule to talk about me. My life must be important more than I think of.

One day KARMA will get to you. So GOODLUCK with that. AMEN!

I know Im Stupid but Im Just in LOVE

Thursday, March 22, 2012

I know and I've been told so many times that this would mean nothing. Kathryn Jane had been telling that it would be just a waste of time but I never heed her warning coz boy, here I go again. She kept on telling me to let go and that he is not the one. I thought I saw something in him coz he treats me like a lady a side my friends never get to see. Guess that's what made me dumb.


The time is up coz right now im leaving it all behind. No more cheating and lying. This tears had finally run dry. Now I can say that what we had is history. And no matter what I do for you I know It will never be enough. So this is me tellin you goodbye...

Summer is HERE, Well Maybe NOT!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

It's supposed to be really hot by this time of the year here in the Philippines but I guess we'll just have cold summer nights then. Literally! But that doesn't stop us from going to the beach BABY!. 

As what they say, when life throws some lemons on you, make some mean lemonades. Whether be under the scorching sun or the pouring rain, I know that I'll be having a lot of fun with you guys..! 

How I Spent my Valentines Day

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Well if you've been reading this blog. You know that I've dreaded Valentines Day and all the Drama attached to it. So to avoid the drama, I spent it alone. After the party, I immediately went home and Sleep.


There's just one thing that I promised not to do again. To Fall in LOVE but babe here I go Again

Coming Back

Friday, January 06, 2012

Have you ever had that feeling when you went back to the thing person you once thought was your world and when you have it you're no longer happy than the one you imagined it to be. I have! I thought coming back would make me happy. Well I thought I was gonna be. I knew then on from the first day that I belonged somewhere else. I have no problems with the people I worked with. It's the system that I had problems with.



It's tearin up my heart thinking of leaving that place I once called my HOME. Who once nurtured me into the person that I am right now. My heart and my soul knew that it wasn't for me but my mind is telling me to stay. So I'm gonna give a few more days and observe or should I say wait for yet another heartbreak coming.